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Welcome back!

If you’re following along in my installment series here at the amazing Phyllis Quinlan blog than you’ve completed Step One and you’re ready for Step Two in the “How to Build the Self-Care Mindset” Journey!

If you missed the first post on Step One, you can read it here.

Remember, we’re working on building your self-care mindset, the “secret ingredient” or “driving force” behind a life well-lived, contentment, resilience, joy, and so much more!

This process is both art and science. And, it takes time.

I highly discourage you from rushing. I hope you spent a good month working on the exercise in Step One. Please take more time if you need it.

Before we move on to Step Two, I want to offer a quick refresher for those who want it on the self-care mindset and what it is.

Okay, now on to Step Two

Step 2: Assessing (& Improving!) Your Self-Worth

Now, it’s time to look at the next step in the building a self-care mindset process and that’s assessing your self-worth and, maybe, giving it some TLC.

We look at self-worth now because you’re coming off the high of getting re-acquainted with yourself (what Step One and the Step One exercise was all about) and we want to ride that mojo wave while we’re still focused on you as a person, because I bet after that exercise you’re feeling really good…maybe you’ve got some fire back in ya?!

Let’s get started.

What is Self-Worth and Why Does it Matter?

The dictionary defines self-worth as “feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect.”

I like to think of self-worth more simply. I think self-worth is YOU liking YOU.

I let the respect part dangle a bit because I think if you like something then you treat it with respect, or at least you strive to.

It’s one thing to know who you are (clarity). We worked on that in Step One.

It’s another to be confident about your intrinsic value as a person (confidence). We’re working on that now.

You need both confidence and clarity to supply your “mental self-care muscles” with the fuel they need to do their job, much like your actual muscles need nutrients to function at their best.

And, that’s where self-worth comes in. You need to know you are, be confident in who you are, and value all those intrinsic things that define you.

You need to love yourself from the inside out.

So How’s Your Self-Worth?

Now’s the time to check-in with yourself.

Do you value who you are? If so, great. Rock on!

If you hesitated, let’s work on building your self-worth before we go further into self-care mindset training because you’ll need to find value in who you are before you can make effective and sustainable change in those ugly thought patterns that always seem to get in your way.

So, here is your next set of exercises:

Step Two Exercises

There are several ways to improve self-worth.

Many of these will be touched on later in the learning process.

What I want to focus on now is connecting you to your inner value while you’re excited about expressing all the attributes that you encapsulate (from Step One).

Part A. Strengthen Your Self-Worth


Look at your list of attributes from the exercise in Step One. Choose one a day to focus on. Spend a few minutes each day writing down why you’re grateful for that attribute.


On a separate sheet of paper, make two columns.

In one column, write down all the ways you bring value to others. Write down as many ways as you can think of throughout the month (it gets easier as the month goes on, I promise).

At the end of the month, reflect on everything you’ve written. The way you view yourself should start to improve!


In the other column, list all the people who accept you for you. Spend more time with these people this month and less time with those who don’t appreciate you for you.

Part B. Create a Boundary That Allows You to Remain Confident in Your Self-Worth When You Feel Vulnerable 

I also want to teach you about creating a personal boundary that protects something sacred: YOU BEING YOU!

This boundary will help you to remain confident about your value and expressing who you are when:

  • You question your worth/value
  • Someone else questions your worth/value
  • You “poo-poo” certain parts of your identity that you NOW value highly
  • Someone else “poo-poos” certain parts of your identity that you NOW value highly

Here’s how you’re going to create it for now:


Close your eyes. Picture a force field around you. Inside that force field, you feel great love for yourself and all the attributes that express who you are—quirks and all. FEEL that love. Let it give you strength and confidence. Take a deep breath in. Now, breathe out. Let go of everything that makes you feel heavy and weak. Refocus on the power and love that you felt inside that force field. Continue through the moment, day, and week inside that force field and gently move away from anyone or anything that tries to throw shade at it. Repeat this exercise as often as needed until you begin to feel so strong you don’t need it. It’s always there to come back to when and if you do though!

That’s it for step 2. Until next time, stay well!

While you’re waiting for Step Three in The Build a Self-Care Mindset Journey, check out these related posts:

And, just because motivation is AWESOME…let’s recap on your progress if you’ve been following along or are joining in!

Your Progress Summary

Here’s what you’ve accomplished so far in the process of building a self-care mindset:

  1. You got re-acquainted with who you are and expressed all the wonderful aspects of what it means to be you! Feelin’ better?!
  2. You’re practicing self-love while learning to find value in being YOU. Treating yourself with respect will soon become something that’s more natural and much easier!

Congrats! You’re doing an awesome job!

Want a hint about what’s up next?

It has to do with putting respect for yourself in action, giving yourself the time and space to strengthen your self-care mindset, and you guessed it, developing healthy boundaries.




Author Bio:
Amanda has contributed to public health initiatives on two continents in three countries. She’s currently pursuing a nursing degree and has successfully owned and operated a freelance writing business specializing in content for healthcare organizations for three years. She and her husband and daughter live in New York. They all enjoy eating out at great restaurants. Connect with Amanda on Linkedin and start a conversation.


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